Aunt Sue

taken at my Senior prom 2005

Most people knew her as Sue Ann, but she was Aunt Sue to me and that always meant something special. She was my dad's oldest sister and I joked that he was her first baby. I think she always loved to baby him, but she also respected him a ton. She loved him and was one of his biggest fans. So that's the simple background, and then he (her baby brother) had four boys and me. 

Because Aunt Sue started her family quite young and there were some years between she and my dad, her grand kids are all around my age. And yet I never felt like she was too busy for me. As an adult myself, I often think about how much more fun I was as an aunt before I had my own kids and how I often don't get to spend as much time/energy on my nieces and nephews as I'd like to. But I never felt that way with her. It's also important to me to state that I know she had an incredible love for her grand kids (and great grand kids)- she loved them so much and had such a strong bond with them. Mine wasn't that, but it was a beautiful aunt/niece one and I lacked nothing there. 

I was able to share some of my favorite memories with her last year for her 80th birthday, but I will type some here for my own memory and for posterity sake. When she and Uncle Raymond lived in Wetmore, they hosted Wertenberger Christmas. If my memory serves me, they lived in an old rest home that was converted into a house. I'd like to drive by as an adult because in my mind's eye it's the longest house ever. And the food line was just as long as the house- well, maybe not quite but there was SO MUCH food. It was always a highlight of the Christmas season and I remember feeling like the drive home was so long. There was always lots of love, food, and laughter. 

The other holiday I especially remember was Memorial Day. It was really important to my Grandma to have flowers on the graves of my Grandpa and my Aunt Vonda Lee. After the service in Sabetha we would look at the flags to see if my grandpa's flag was up. Then would start the arguing (in my family of kids) about who would get to go with Grandma and Aunt Sue to the other cemeteries in Circleville and Bala (I think). It was on one of these trips that I remember Grandma, Aunt Sue and I got so tickled about something that we absolutely could not stop laughing. You know the kind of laughter that catches you during church when you're around 10 years old? It was that kind. Once we got calmed down and were resolved to move on, one of us would get to laughing and it would rev up again. 

I also remember around this same age Aunt Sue gave me a diary and a purse for my birthday. The small purse didn't have sequence and bright colors, but was a dark blue leather. I felt so sophisticated and like she saw me as the real grown up that I was. :) 

In high school, I got to see her everyday. She was the accountant at the school and punched lunch cards. She would buy me something off of a-la-cart on my birthday. She kept her eye out for me and that wasn't an easy season for her as it is when my Uncle Raymond passed away. She always seemed to have a strength that didn't make sense. 

Even into adulthood she would send me a birthday card or call me on the phone to chat about something. It wasn't scheduled nor would I call it frequent, but it was always good. To my knowledge, we always ended with "I love you". During covid shutdown, we started writing letters to each other. She would send us a card full of balloons for the kids to blow up and play with. Or sometimes sticks of gum for each of them. It was so much fun and I haven't had the heart capacity to get the letters out, but one of these days I will get them out and have a good cry and probably a hearty laugh. One year a few years back she wrote that she had read through the whole Bible and didn't know if she'd gotten much out of it or not. I think she did, but I told her about a different version of the Bible that I liked and my dad told me later that she had gotten it. That meant a lot to me, that my opinion mattered to her. 

A few weeks before she passed away, I got to visit her at the hospital. I've never been around someone who was at peace with dying like she was. It was really beautiful. But I got to tell her that she was the best cheerleader- she was just always impressed by what I did and told me so. That I was doing a good job and was thrilled to hear the most mundane and silly stories from my kids. She was tickled by their antics and would re-tell their stories to her family. I wonder if our society as a whole has gotten so competitive that we can't delight in each other like she did. I hope we can all take a page out of Aunt Sue's book and delight in each other. 

As I've become an adult and as people in my life die- probably starting with my grandma- I have come to realize the gaps that they filled in my life. I am well aware that I can't fulfill every need my children have- only God can ultimately- but also grandparents, aunts, uncles, teachers, Sunday School teachers, cousins, coaches and friends fill gaps. My Aunt Sue loved me really well by being genuinely interested in my life and cheering me on. The last thing she told me was to "take care of those babies". I'll do my best- we (my whole family) are better for being loved by her.